


Let Me Breathe

by Psithurisma



Category: VIXX
Genre: Cyborgs, Deeply in love Leobin, Error!AU, Heavy Angst, M/M, Robots, Suicide, error
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 16:41:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3985324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psithurisma/pseuds/Psithurisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Error!AU where Taekwoon's life slipped from Hongbin's grasp, his warmth brought back to life by robotics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> This is really heavy angst and has character death/suicide, so if you are triggered by these things please don't read!
> 
> This is based off the Error music video where Taekwoon is the dead lover turned android.

Hongbin had never missed Taekwoon's warmth so much. It was things like this, when they had been ripped away from you by an act of fate, did you realise how much you needed it. When Taekwoon's muscles turned limp, fingers slipping down Hongbin's palm for the last time, did the younger man sob. It was when what was left of the colour on Taekwoon's cheeks fled and stole his warmth with it, his beating heart, his shallow breath, did Hongbin's world cripple and shatter around him to the sound of a heart monitor screeching a single continous tone in his ear. It was a never-ending earthquake, his brain rattling, his legs barely able to get to one side of a room to another as he tried to run for help, but there was no one.

  
Hongbin refused to bury Taekwoon's body.

  
He preserved it.

 

  
[ TAKE L01 ]

 

  
Hongbin's eyes stared up at the camera propped up in the corner of the room, fingers fiddling with the settings. "Ah, it's recording." He mumbled, staring into the lense and taking a deep breath.

  
"Take one."

  
Hongbin's eyes flitted back to the large steel instrument with Taekwoon's preserved body hoisted up on it, eyes closed as his brows twitched down painfully, turning back to the camera. "It's been a month and a half, and I've used older prototypes to  bring Taekwoon back to life. I've halted my work and am using my... my life savings... to live."

  
It was then when did Hongbin start the machine, a metallic hum and whirring growling through the laboratory. The lifeless half-organic body of Jung Taekwoon was being galvanized back to what would hopefully be life, Hongbin eyeing him carefully as Taekwoon's muscles began to twitch with the electric current.

  
"Taek...woon..." Hongbin began, eyes wide as the older man's eyes slowly opened blankly, bionic pupils focusing on the teary boy right in front of him, fingertips cautiously caressing the androids' face. "Taekwoon, it's me, it's Hongbin-"

  
Blood began to bubble and dribble down Taekwoon's mouth, his eyes looking but not seeing and Hongbin made an incoherent, high-pitched gargling sound of fear, horror and panic. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll turn you off, let me-"

  
It was when did the machines whirred to a halt and Taekwoon's body went limp once more did Hongbin's knees finally buckle as he curled over in a sob.

 

  
[ L04 ]

 

  
Taekwoon was hot, too hot, way too hot. He was overheating. This wasn't warmth, this was a fire.

 

  
[ L05 ]

 

  
A part of the machine exploded and Hongbin was knocked off his feet. The scrapes against his forearm are only a reminder that he was failing over  
and over.

 

  
[ L06 ]

 

  
Hongbin was spending more on alcohol than rent these days. Nothing else could wash away the fact he was failing, time and again, that Taekwoon was dead, that Taekwoon was...

  
[ L07 ]

 

  
_Can't you hear me?_   


 

  
[ L10 ]

 

 

Hongbin turned on the camera, dark blue rings weighing down below his eyes, hair dishevelled, hands with healing cuts. "Take 10." Hongbin murmured, lips exhaling a sigh as his eyes watered, the boy grimacing as a hand cupped over his eyes, dipping his head.

The machines whirred again. Every time, no matter how many adjustments he did, to the machine or to Taekwoon himself, the man would react badly, internally bleed, the machinery being too much for the organic parts inside him. Hongbin had since extracted his kidney, his liver, his lungs and replaced them for a synthetic copy. Taekwoon was becoming less and less human, and Hongbin found himself having to avoid looking at the lifeless body, the blank eyes.

  
Taekwoon's eyes opened as the machine whirred, Hongbin slowly dropping his hand as wide eyes stared in anticipation. It was the tenth time, yet every time the machines began to whirr, Hongbin's being felt of dizzy with anticipation.

  
He didn't bleed. His face didn't contort in horrendous pain. Taekwoon's eyes were tracking Hongbin's movements as the younger man ran over, almost tripping over his feet, his hands sliding up to cup Taekwoon's cheeks. "Taekwoon?" Hongbin whispered, but the man's eyes stared at him. "Are you in pain?" Hongbin gave a sorrowful smile. "Am I hurting you again?"

  
Taekwoon didn't answer, his eyelashes slanting down to Hongbin as the boy connected his lips to the android desperately, needing some kind of reaction, needed to spur the humanoid's past memories, quicken his beating heart. He pulled away, though Taekwoon's expression was no different and his lips barely moved. Hongbin grimaced.

  
"Talk to me."

  
There was a spark and a sizzling sound, and Taekwoon's face began to contort in pain again and Hongbin inhaled sharply, scrambling over to the machine and pulling the lever down before something worse happened. He slumped against the panel as Taekwoon lifelessly slumped again, Hongbin's fingers slipping from the handle as he put his head in his crossed arms, wretched sobs shaking his body. He'd never wanted warmth so much.

 

  
[ L12 ]

 

  
I can't... I can't… I can’t do it anymore.

 

  
[ L14 ]

 

  
_Help me._   


 

  
[ L15 ]

 

  
His phone buzzed with concerned texts from Hakyeon and Sanghyuk, who he hadn't seen in over five months now. He had told Hakyeon to leave him alone, to let him grieve on his own, to let him 'try and recover' from Taekwoon's tragic death and had gone on a long trip away. Neither of them knew that Taekwoon was not buried in the ground but being preserved in Hongbin's laboratory that was usually reserved for making AI robots.

He couldn't tell them. He couldn't tell anyone. He couldn't trust anyone.

  
Considering what he was doing was considered illegal.

  
Hongbin slumped against his desk with a mug of coffee in his hand, bloodshot eyes overlooking where Taekwoon had been positioned again for the thirteenth time for the next take. He had taken almost everything out inside the man other than the brain and the heart. He needed the brain, but tried to keep the heart for sentimental purposes. That while Taekwoon might of died and been brought back to life with a body of bionics, he'd still have a beating heart.

  
He turned on the camera.

  
"Take fifteen." Hongbin said through exhausted lips.

  
He pulled the lever.

  
Hongbin's eyes slowly turned to look at Taekwoon, his head raised, eyes blinking up. Hongbin just gave a sorrowful smile as the android looked around like always, taking in his surroundings, only to land on Hongbin.

  
Hongbin's heart skipped a beat, biting his lip hard as his hand on the lever began to shake, looking for any signs... that Taekwoon might begin to bleed again, or convulse, or spark...

  
"Taekwoon?" Hongbin said quietly, the android's head turning again. Hongbin's mouth went dry, he had heard him. The bionic ears were working, and just at that, Hongbin felt like crying. "Can you hear me?"

  
Taekwoon blinked, and gave a small nod. A squeak escaped Hongbin, hand slipping away from the lever and trotting over, putting his hand softly on Taekwoon's shoulder. It had been the first time Taekwoon had answered him, acknowledged his voice or words or questions. Hongbin's lips were twitching down, head dipping at the fact Taekwoon had answered him. A small nod, but an answer.

  
"You can understand? You can hear?" Hongbin whimpered, his hand on Taekwoon's shoulder slowly tightening in anticipation. The way Taekwoon was looking irked him, more robot and not human. "Don't you... know who I am?"

  
Taekwoon blinked again, his eyes blinking small blue lights as if registering what Hongbin was saying before shaking his head.

  
"I'm Hongbin, Lee Hongbin." He choked out, now desperately trying to see through tears, cupping Taekwoon's face. There was no warmth. It wasn't Taekwoon. This wasn't him. "We’ve been dating for five years, we were planning on spending our life together, you remember that, right? We were meant to adopt those cats, and sponsor that monkey, because it looked like Hakyeon, right?" Hongbin was smiling, though he felt like screaming when he was given no response. His head slowly lowered and forced himself to back away.

  
He pulled down the lever.

  
Three minutes later, he looked down at the coffee mug shards on the ground caused by a moment of anger and distress. He'll have to buy more.

 

  
[ L23 ]

 

  
"Take twenty-three." says Hongbin up at the camera, realising as he looked at himself on the screen on the video camera that he had never looked so exhausted. He was. He was terrified.

  
The times before since Taekwoon had begun to respond to his questions, it had been the same. The only difference was that he knew now that Taekwoon didn't seem to be hurting, but then again, he didn't know if the man could really feel pain anymore. Hongbin had now made his heart half steel, trying to keep as much organic flesh as he could. Taekwoon couldn't seem to speak either, so he had to make adjustments to the machinery inside the man's throat in hopes that it would be able to produce sound. Despite Taekwoon being able to answer yes or no questions by movements of his head that didn't have anything to do with his previous life, Hongbin couldn't figure out what was happening, why Taekwoon couldn't remember him. He figured to extract the man's memories and create a synthetic version and then implant them into his new database, his brain now underlying with robotics. As Hongbin had been piling Taekwoon with as many memories he could, he continuously tried to forget the fact that Taekwoon was slowly  
turning less and less human, less of the man he was.

  
Perhaps Hongbin was selfish for not letting him rest in peace, but was it truly so bad to give someone their life back?

  
Hongbin whirred the machine to life, the sound now both his worst nightmare but only hope. As Taekwoon's eyes opened yet again and focused on Hongbin, the eye-contact becoming more and more unbearable every time it happened. Hongbin waited for the blank stare, the hawk-like tracking of his movements.

  
"... Hongbin?"

  
Hongbin had seen it. Hongbin had heard it. He didn't believe it. He froze, hand clutching the lever as his hands shook, the waterworks beginning what seemed like again and again and again. He watched as Taekwoon stared at him in confusion. Confusion. Confusion. Taekwoon had expression on his face, and Hongbin's knees almost buckled. It was the first time Taekwoon's face had moved in anything but pain since he died.

  
"Hongbin...?"

  
"Taekwoon," Hongbin choked, his voice coming out barely a whisper. Taekwoon was speaking, it was the first time he'd heard his voice, in... only to realise something else. "You remember me."

  
Taekwoon blinked in a concerned expression, and Hongbin's face contorted into a sob. Hongbin found his feet fumbling over to him before he could realise, his body colliding into Taekwoon's and wrapping his arms around his lower waist where the power cords weren't plugging into his back. Hongbin pressed his grimacing face against Taekwoon's shoulder, heaving a heavy sigh of relief. "After twenty-three times, you remember me, Taekwoon, you... you finally remember- oh god, Taekwoon. You're back, you're home, you're alive-"

  
He bit his lip and blinked back tears as his face broke in realisation. Taekwoon wasn't moving or reciprocating anything at all.

  
Hongbin's feet staggered back to look back at Taekwoon with shaking lips. "What's wrong, are you in pain-?"

  
Taekwoon looked at Hongbin, clearly lost with what was happening. "I can't move my body. I'm paralyzed from the waist down," His soft, feathery voice was so gentle, yet it hit Hongbin like a blade. "Hongbin..."

  
Hongbin's wide eyes stared back up at Taekwoon.

  
"Didn't I die?"

  
Hongbin licked his lips. "I revived you."

  
Taekwoon made a pained expression, eyelashes fluttering down, and at first Hongbin thought something bad had happened again, but Taekwoon looked back up at him. "How long has it been since I-"

  
"Eight months."

  
Taekwoon's lips parted in shock, his soft features looking into Hongbin in disbelief, only to look away and hang his head. He looked guilty, he looked upset. Hongbin didn't want this, he wanted Taekwoon to be ecstatic for being able to be given a second chance at life, not-

  
"You could of moved on by now, Hongbin." Taekwoon whispered.

  
"No," Hongbin replied over Taekwoon's voice, whose voice hitched, his face flinching. "Never, I-"

  
"Twenty-three times?"

  
Hongbin nodded, giving a small grimace, heavy bags weighing down his features, stringy hair that desperately needed a cut sticking out in all directions.

  
"You're not looking after yourself." Taekwoon murmured.

  
Hongbin whimpered and covered his eyes with his hand, feeling like he was about to wail. Taekwoon had never wanted to hug the man so much in his life, but he couldn't, his body refused to move, and while the man felt guilty for what Hongbin had become because of him, he felt a whole surge of affection.

  
Taekwoon's lips pressed together, racking his memories of his time with Hongbin studying and working on their engineering projects together. "My circuit. Something's probably pressing against to whatever wires you've used to send messages from my brain down to my body. If you can get the messages up and down I'll... " Taekwoon looked down a little. "Be... able to move."

  
"Okay." Hongbin said shakily, swallowing back shuddering breaths as he slowly walked towards Taekwoon again, a hand raising to caress the man's cheek. "Can you feel that?" Hongbin whispered as Taekwoon's face softened, nodding slowly. He felt warmth, he felt Taekwoon, that he was there, and not just an artificial intelligence inside a metal shell. Hongbin gave a small watery smile, leaning in to press his lips against Taekwoon's, finding himself whimpering against them as Taekwoon kissed back. The latter had kissed back, preciously, sweetly, as if pouring his affection into Hongbin in case this was the last time he saw him.

  
"I love you," whispered Taekwoon almost inaudibly against his lips.

  
Hongbin smiled geniunely for what felt like the first time in months, kissing Taekwoon quickly before "I love you too," was reciprocated.

  
"I'll fix you up. I'll... I'll bring you back. You'll be alive again. I promise." Hongbin whispered, and Taekwoon nodded.

  
Pulling down the lever had never been so hard.

 

  
[ L25 ]

 

  
"Can you lift your arms?" Hongbin asked softly, his fingers on Leo's biceps feeling for any muscle movement.

  
"Yes," Taekwoon demonstrated, though his arms outstretched awkwardly, stiffly out in front of him. "But I can't bend my elbows."

Hongbin’s eyebrow raised, but nodded a little, hiding his disappointment.

 

  
[ L29 ]

 

  
After multiple attempts, Hongbin had tried to get Taekwoon's body working again. It was only his shoulders, and then he was able to take heaves of his chest, move his biceps, but no extremities yet. Hongbin had turned him on and off day after day to test what he had done, Hongbin becoming more and more dishevelled and weak each day. He was barely eating, sleeping, if anything, he couldn’t sleep and had to resort to sleeping pills - now that Taekwoon was able to remember and talk to him, it only spurred Hongbin's motivation more that one day he might be able to have Taekwoon in his arms properly, that he might be able to hold hands with him and smile at each other, that they might be able to walk down the laboratory together. That they might be able to live normally - as normally as you could when the love of your life had more metal than flesh and supposedly dead.

Hongbin looked a mess, and as he fastened the camera onto the tripod and turned it on, his eyes widened at how horrible he looked. Nibbling on his lip, he looked back at Taekwoon and back at the camera, only for tired legs to walk down the hallway and brush his hair in the first time what seemed like weeks, making him look at least somewhat presentable. Looking at himself in the mirror, he realised with a grimace that he had probably lost weight, skin anemically pale and eyes blood-shot from lack of sleep. He looked horrible, he felt horrible, but he didn’t feel so horrible when Taekwoon was talking to him. It was like he was alive, like he is alive again.

  
He returned after taking a quick shower, wanting to be at least decent for Taekwoon who woke up with an increasingly worried face. Taekwoon was usually a man of few words, but to Hongbin, his eyes said it all. The concern that showed in Taekwoon’s gaze broke Hongbin’s heart.

  
Pushing the lever down, Hongbin sub-consciously held his breath as Taekwoon was powered up again. Hongbin walked over as Taekwoon sleepily opened his eyes as if he had just been napping, not turned off and on like a computer.

  
“Welcome back,” Hongbin said, smiling gently as he brushed a cord away from Taekwoon’s hair, the latter blinking back up at him. He slipped his hand into Taekwoon’s, something that had turned into a bit of a ritual, since if Taekwoon could feel his hand, or even squeeze back, it meant everything was working.

  
“Squeeze.”

  
Taekwoon squeezed.

  
Hongbin’s lips parted in surprise and Taekwoon gave a small inhale of wonder, and finally lifted his hand to see them himself, only to lift both of them. A smile lifted the corners of Taekwoon’s mouth, his eyes sparkling in the happy expression that Hongbin loved so much. Hongbin cupped Taekwoon’s hands in amazement, a smile of realisation filling his face as their eyes met, twinkling in pure joy as Taekwoon’s fingers curled around Hongbin’s.

 

Hongbin found himself pulled and then enveloped by Taekwoon’s strong arms, his head guided into the man’s neck and finally held. He hugged Taekwoon preciously, his face buried in the man’s neck as his eyes watered from joy, his smile twitching downwards. Taekwoon was here. Taekwoon was real, he felt warmth, so much warmth.

  
“Thank you,” came Taekwoon’s voice, whose lips was pressing into his forehead. His brows twitched down as he was overcome with emotion, that  
Hongbin’s hard work had finally paid off. He had returned.

  
They held each other for what felt like a long time, but not long enough for both of them, as when Hongbin pulled away, Taekwoon made a small sound of disapproval.

  
“Come on, I’ll unhook you. You’d be able to walk again, right? Can you curl your toes?” He said, taking Taekwoon’s hands as he looked down to see Taekwoon’s toes wiggling. Hongbin smiled at the sight.

  
He reached behind Taekwoon as he unplugged the cords giving Taekwoon his initial boost of  power to turn him on and keeping him upright, one after one, only for Taekwoon’s body to become a heavy weight - much too heavy for him to support.

  
“Taek--?”

  
Their bodies collided on the floor together with a deafening crash, Hongbin wincing in pain as his back fell hard against the ground.

“... Not enough storage to hold power …” Taekwoon was choking out, eyes flickering closed as if fighting a strong sleeping pill. “... Port...able… batter…”

  
Hongbin stared up at the ceiling with Taekwoon’s lifeless body limp on top of him, closing his eyes as his head in the ground in defeat. He had been so close.

 

  
[ L30 ]

 

  
“It’s Hongbin.” He said into the camera again, the lense seeming like an old friend by now. “Nine months.” He stated, giving a grim smile. “Changed Taekwoon’s power source, the motor I gave him wasn’t enough to support him, so now he’ll have a rechargeable battery.”

  
He looked wearily up at the screen. “I hope,” he began, his eyes glancing down tiredly. “That this will be my last log. Take thirty.”

  
He exhaled softly, gripping the lever and biting his lip before slowly pushing it down, closing his eyes as he stood, hearing the machine hum. He looked tiredly up at waking Taekwoon, who stirred a little grumpily as if he was in bed, not hooked up into a machine, only to blink up at Hongbin and around his surroundings. He never seemed to fully get used to waking up like this straight away, always in a little daze.

  
“Feel okay?” Hongbin murmured, walking over to him.

  
“Mm.” Taekwoon nodded, humming in response. His eyes glanced up to Hongbin as he was making sure the battery was fastened properly. “Have you eaten?”

  
Hongbin’s lips pressed together as his eyes flickered up at Taekwoon wearily. “I had a cup of noodles yesterday afternoon.”

  
“What time is it now?”

  
“Ten in the morning.”

  
Taekwoon sighed. “As soon as I’m able to walk around, I’m making you a feast.”

  
Hongbin smiled at that, dimple creasing his chin shyly as he decided he was ready to go. His hands rested on Taekwoon’s chest, their eyes connecting. “It’s two car batteries. It’ll make do until I can find a better option.”

  
Taekwoon nods, eyes lowering to the batteries belted around both hips.

  
“Ready?”

  
“Ready.”

  
Hongbin unplugged the hefty cords and took a step back, arms instinctively outstretched to hopefully to catch him this time if he falls, instead of them both crashing to the ground.

  
But he didn’t.

  
Hongbin waited for him to fall to his knees, to turn off.

  
But he didn’t.

  
Taekwoon stood, as if scared himself he might fall and hurt Hongbin, only for his eyes to widen when a few moments past and he was still awake. Eyes flickered up at Hongbin a little in surprise, whose eyes returned the expression.

  
“I did it,” Hongbin whispered.

  
Taekwoon’s face broke out into the rare but beautiful smile Hongbin loved, giving a small laugh as he even took a couple of steps towards him, clutching Hongbin’s face and pressing his mouth against his.

  
“You did it,” Taekwoon whispers, eyes twinkling and smiling a little smugly like a proud mother. Hongbin couldn’t stop smiling, for Taekwoon was standing all by himself, and was now kissing him over and over in an excited and desperate frenzy, peppering kisses all over his skin. It was so unlike Taekwoon, but it only showed Hongbin how happy he was to finally have him in his arms again, in his arms properly.

  
“How do you feel?”

  
Taekwoon broke away, hands slipping from Hongbin’s hair where it had been once entwined to look down at his body. “Good, I… I feel good.”

The reality struck Hongbin all at once when seeing Taekwoon’s face light up again, that Hongbin had succeeded, that take thirty was his last take. That Taekwoon was alive again, safe, and back in his arms. It had been worth it. It had been so so worth it. Hongbin’s eyes began to water again, grimacing as he was smiling. “You’re back.” He whimpered out of joy, a hand raising to cup Taekwoon’s cheek, who leant into it, clasping a hand gently over Hongbin’s.

  
“I’m back.” He replied softly.

  
Hongbin gave a soft sob, body curling into Taekwoon’s chest, head resting on his broad shoulders, the man holding him securely as if afraid Hongbin might disappear.

 

  
__♔_ _ __♔_ _   


 

  
It felt strange, lifting the blinds up in their apartment after all this time. He had popped in now and again incognito (in case Hakyeon and Hyuk were around) to pick up things, rest in a better bed at night, though staying away from the laboratory - and lifeless Taekwoon - was terrifying to think about. The rent was paid by his savings, and avoided going there since every time he opened the door there was letters slipped under it from a worried Hakyeon wondering when he’d be back from his trip. Now, covered in jackets and hats and sunglasses, they crept back inside the apartment together without being noticed.

  
Taekwoon was technically a dead man walking, after all.

  
Hongbin scrunched his face up at the amount of dust, slinging his jacket off and scarf.The blinds being up revealed to them both just how much dust there was to both of them, and it was embarrassingly messy. Hongbin squinted, putting the fans on, as Taekwoon blinked around to the old apartment they shared together. Their hands were linked, as they had been ever since Taekwoon had gotten on his feet yesterday, making up for the warmth lost all those months.

  
“You know…” Taekwoon said softly, voice always so light that Hongbin always had to walk over to hear him. Taekwoon was holding an old picture frame of the two, thumb sliding across the glass to swipe the dust off. “I’m not meant to be alive.”

  
“I know.” Hongbin said quietly.

  
“And I doubt you got permission from the government to revive me.”

  
Hongbin scratched his head with his free hand, frowning. Taekwoon frowned a little.

  
“So if… someone recognises us, I mean, if someone I knew sees me alive and walking, we could be in troub-”

  
“I know.” Hongbin’s voice cut him off, Taekwoon’s voice hitching as Hongbin shot him a bit of a look. “I know that perfectly. You think out of the thirty times I revived you, I didn’t know it was illegal? But I did. Of course I did. If we get caught, if I get put in jail, that’s fine, since if I never revived you, that’s what it’d feel like anyway.”

  
Taekwoon frowned and looked away, though said no more.

  
“We can’t live here anymore.” He finally said, looking out the window.

  
Hongbin followed his trail out to the city, tightening his grip on his hand. He suppose he couldn’t.

 

  
__♔_ _ __♔_ _   


 

  
Taekwoon was looking for places on his laptop, more-so houses with a sturdy garage or a large second room, for Hongbin had to put his equipment somewhere, otherwise Taekwoon’s life would be in danger again. They had begun to pack their things into boxes, exchanging shy smiles when finding things that held memories for them both as they packed them.

  
Just as Hongbin had brought Taekwoon back to life, the latter concurrently nursed him back to health, making sure to cook for him despite not needing to eat himself and even bathed him. Taekwoon couldn’t join in the bath times anymore, so Hongbin had to wash his skin with a damp towel, but they found themselves looking after each other. Hongbin’s hair was long and healthy, Taekwoon’s the same as the day he died, bangs just above his eyes.

  
It was strange to Hongbin, being held every night as he slept, where so many months before he had been barely getting any sleep, cold and alone. Hongbin’s gaze rested on Taekwoon’s sleeping face when his body was on sleep-mode to preserve battery and to give his mind a rest, and everytime he did so he couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else. Taekwoon’s arms were secure. He felt happy for the longest time, he felt warmth.

  
“Hongbin…” Taekwoon’s sleepy voice, light, fluffy and slurred, lazy lips against Hongbin’s ear as their bodies entangled in the sheets, had the latter shivering.

  
“Mm?”

  
Taekwoon didn’t say anything in response for a few moments, and Hongbin had begun to drift off again, head lulling and body about to turn into Taekwoon’s when the man mumbled something so soft that Hongbin didn’t quite catch it.

  
“Hm?”

  
Taekwoon’s eyes opened with sleepy eyelashes, pink lips parted to repeat himself, looking straight into Hongbin’s eyes from across him.

  
“Marry me.”

  
Hongbin’s eyes widened, blinking back. “W-What?”

  
Taekwoon’s arm shifted from under the bedsheets, taking his hip with a gentle hand, guiding it to his and pulling him closer. Their foreheads touched, and Hongbin found himself growing red. “Please marry me.” He whispered. “Please be my husband.”

  
Hongbin’s hand took Taekwoon’s cheek and smiled softly, feeling tears prick and his heart swelling with affection. “Of course I will.” He could barely say, his voice having gone almost croaky with emotion.

  
Taekwoon’s face softened, his arm wrapping around Hongbin’s neck as the latter curled into his body, a hand clutching at Taekwoon’s shirt. “Of course,” Hongbin whispered, pressing his lips against Taekwoon’s. “Of course, of course.”

  
Taekwoon moved his mouth sleepily against Hongbin’s in a precious kiss. “It’s not romantic, but…” He whispers, eyebrows twitching down. “It’s all I can think about.”

  
Hongbin found his shyness cute, the way his eyes flitted away because he felt embarrassed for being unable to convey his emotions very well, even around the man he loved. “It’s okay,” whispered Hongbin, kissing his nose, in which Taekwoon jerked his head back a little in surprise. Hongbin’s smile stretched across his features, nuzzling his nose into Taekwoon’s cheek who gave a small puffing sound of laughter. The two men - now fiancees - smiling sleepily at each other, holding each other in the quiet and carefree moments that were now so precious.

 

  
__♔_ _ __♔_ _   


 

  
Hongbin and Taekwoon found themselves surrounded by boxes that held their keepsakes and other belongings inside, the house now almost completely empty. Taekwoon now had improved strength, and due to his stamina he was able to pack the boxes with surprising speed. As Hongbin looked around at the boxes, he felt a surge of emptiness, like a realisation that things, truly, weren’t back to normal. That they may never be despite the  marriage proposal that held in their hearts and not rings on their fingers.

  
“Did you contact Hakyeon?” Taekwoon asked softly, fingers idly tracing against the back of Hongbin’s hand before slowly curling around it. Hongbin shook his head, staring down.

  
“It’s probably better if I disappear… if I tell him I’m leaving for good, he might … come looking for me, and find out about …”

  
“Me.” Taekwoon ended Hongbin’s sentence softly, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “I won’t tell you what to do, but I’ll be by your side regardless.”

  
Hongbin just nodded and smiled gently, taking Taekwoon’s cheek and leaning up to kiss him chastely, whispering: “I know.”

  
Hongbin and Taekwoon blinked in surprise when his door buzzer beeped repeatedly multiple times, looking at each other.

  
“Did you buy anything?” Taekwoon asked softly.

  
“Yeah, I ordered some new mugs since some of them have been broken… it’s probably the mailman.”

  
Taekwoon just nodded. “Should I hide?”

  
“I don’t think you need to,” Hongbin just smiled a little sadly that Taekwoon’s existence had to be a secret, and the latter nodded and told him he’d stay where he was as Hongbin turned to go to the door, their fingers slipping away and the missed warmth aching already.

  
Hongbin opened the door, putting on a friendly smile as he at the man at the door who was holding a letter, but dropped it as soon as he saw Hongbin’s face. Hongbin finally glanced up at what should of been the mailman only to see a face that made his whole being swell in guilt.

  
“You’re back,” Hakyeon choked. “You’re back from your trip.”

  
Hongbin’s lips parted slowly, eyes wide as the two men stared at each other.

  
“You didn’t tell me.” Hakyeon added, his tone now incredibly hurt, his fingers curling over into loose fists. “I’ve been your best friend for years, and you  
didn’t tell me when you returned? After all those texts?”

  
“I-I returned today-” Hongbin spluttered, his hand curling over the door.

  
“Hey, Hakyeon, do you think you could get me one of those sodas in the machine, I’m thirs- Hongbin?”

  
Hongbin’s eyes flickered over to Sanghyuk, who had grown about two inches in the last eight months. He swallowed thickly, realising now how long he had been away in his own obsessive stupor, realising just how much time passed. “Hyuk…” Hongbin barely whispered, only to suddenly to have to let go of the door knob as the youngest man’s face lit up and threw his arms around him.

  
“Hongbin!” Sanghyuk’s bear-like hug took Hongbin by surprise, his eyes widening as he was knocked into the ajar door behind him, making it swing open. Hongbin smiled nervously as he pat Sanghyuk’s head hesitantly, only for the boy to pull away and start asking how he’s been, how he’s feeling, but Hongbin’s eyes found themselves staring back at Hakyeon, who was looking at something behind Hongbin.

  
Hongbin froze, lips parting a little as his eyes widened, looking behind to see what Hakyeon was staring at, but saw nothing. Hongbin couldn’t help but to exhale a little in relief, only for Hakyeon to push past him.

  
“Hakyeon?” Sanghyuk called out as he and Hongbin were pressed up against a wall when Hakyeon pushed through the door and stalked down the hallway.

  
“Hak-” Hongbin stammered, only to chase after him, reaching for his wrist to pull him back. “Hakyeon what are you doing-”

  
“I saw him, I saw him in the corner-” Hakyeon was spluttering almost nonsensically, spinning on his feet, eyes wide under dark bangs.

  
“Saw who, Hakyeon?” Sanghyuk replied.

  
“He was-”

  
“You’re just seeing things, Hakyeon,” Hongbin said, perhaps a little too quickly, Sanghyuk turning to him as Hakyeon’s bewildered eyes rested on the now long-haired man. “There’s no one else here.”

  
Hakyeon swallowed, pressing his lips together and looking away again…

  
Only to hear a door creak.

  
Hakyeon spun on his toes, a sharp inhale of breath and Sanghyuk’s eyes widened as they looked back down the hallway where they had come to see the bedroom door slightly ajar. Hongbin’s whole being filled with dread, almost wincing, only for Hakyeon to begin to stalk down the hallway again. There was no way Taekwoon could hide anywhere in the bedroom, not even the closet, and in a moment of panic, Hongbin’s arms flung around Hakyeon’s waist, desperately pulling him back as they struggled at the bedroom door. Hakyeon’s eyes widened as he aggressively the door open to see Taekwoon by the chest of drawers, his head raising to see Hakyeon with wide eyes.

  
Hongbin’s knees felt like they were going to collapse on themselves when Hakyeon froze, hand on the doorknob, seeing a man who he saw die months ago in hospital. Taekwoon barely moved, putting the small ornament down that he was holding in his hands, when his soft voice spoke up immediately after seeing Hongbin’s grimacing face.

  
“Hakyeon-”

  
“You died. You were dead.”

  
“I’m-”

  
“You fucking  _died_.”

  
Taekwoon’s jaw clenched shut, eyes flickering over to Hongbin who tugged against Hakyeon’s waist again. Hakyeon wrenched free, glancing back at a frozen Sanghyuk who was white as chalk from seeing a dead man walking. “Call the police.”

  
“No-” Hongbin retorted, though Hakyeon’s eyes stared back at Taekwoon in bewilderment.

  
“How are you alive- did you- did he-” Hakyeon was spluttering, fists clenching, voice accusing. “You shouldn’t be alive.”

  
“I know.” Taekwoon said softly, obviously trying to calm everyone down as Sanghyuk rang the police, Hongbin swivelling around as he began to try and wrench the phone out of his grip. The sight only hardened Taekwoon’s face as he watched the situation unfurl, obviously becoming more anxious as seconds ticked by.

  
“Batteries…” Hakyeon whispered, looking back up at a hesitant Taekwoon from the man’s hips. “... Hongbin … reconstructed you.”

  
Taekwoon swallowed, eyes flickering up to see a shaking Hongbin having slapped the phone out of Sanghyuk’s hand, the younger having to shove him away to pick up the phone again.  Hakyeon grabbed a lamp on top of a taped box, pointing it straight at Taekwoon as if the android would hurt him.

  
“Hakyeon, I’m not-”

  
“Don’t talk to me.” Hakyeon choked. “I saw you, I saw you dead in that hospital bed. I saw your health decline before my eyes, I… I thought we buried  
you at your funeral but was there nothing in that coffin?”

  
Hakyeon’s eyes blinked in realisation, and between Hongbin and Sanghyuk’s kerfuffle, took out his own phone. “The real Taekwoon can’t rest in peace like this. I’m sorry, Hongbin.”

  
Hakyeon had begun to talk to the police, and Taekwoon’s body moved. He took Hakyeon’s wrist gently only to pull him forward harshly, the man’s lithe frame toppling over in surprise. Brute yet gentle strength pried Hongbin and Sanghyuk away from each other down the hallway, the latter beginning to tear up at seeing what he believed to be his dead brother-figure up and walking again.

  
“I’m sorry, Sanghyuk.” He whispered before hoisting Hongbin out by the arm and rushing out the door before either of them could prevent it.

 

 

  
__♔_ _ __♔_ _   


 

 

  
“Where are we going?” Hongin stammered as he climbed into the passenger seat, Taekwoon’s intent on driving obvious. Taekwoon started the car and pulled into the road as quickly as he could, eyes on the road, knuckles white from gripping the car seat.

  
“The laboratory.” Taekwoon murmured.

  
“What?” Hongbin muttered. “We shouldn’t be going there, we need to get out, we need to get away-”

  
“Away where, Hongbin? Where?” Taekwoon’s voice had raised in desperation, eyes widening, revealing to Hongbin that the older man was just as frightened as he was. “They know I’m alive- well, walking. The police have been notified.”

  
Hongbin swallowed. “Then we’ll run from them. We’ll run, and run…”

  
“We can’t do that. Your life savings are practically all used up, Hongbin. You - we - can’t afford anything to keep me going without your equipment. What then? We’ll get caught. No matter what we’ll do, we’ll get caught.”

  
Hongbin grimaced and looked down, his head in his hands, the realisation hitting him as his fingers curled, a sob escaping him. Taekwoon’s hand pried one of Hongbin’s away to hold it firmly in his, and the latter himself knew that even Taekwoon would be shaking if he still human.

  
“I’m sorry,” Taekwoon whispered. “I’m sorry I couldn’t marry you.”

  
“Taekwoon -”

  
“But I’m not… allowing us to get caught. I don’t want to be forcibly, inhumanely deconstructed and for you to see that. I don’t want you to live in a cell for the rest of your life.” Taekwoon’s voice was shaking, cheeks softening into a small grimace. “If anything, I… don’t want you to spend your life in isolation and suffering. I’d rather you…”

  
“Rather me what,” Hongbin whispered.

  
“... Be with me.” Taekwoon said softly, his thumb slowly tracing against Hongbin’s.

Hongbin blinked as they slowed down at a red light, Taekwoon’s gaze dropping a little and slowly looked over to Hongbin, a quiet, almost unearthly silence falling and swirling within the car like a gentle incense. “... Dying is like falling asleep. The afterlife… it’s… it’s nice.”

Hongbin’s dry lips parted in realisation as Taekwoon’s gaze slowly returned to the road, the car moving, though whatever was happening outside was  
grey matter to Hongbin. “Are you saying we should…”

  
“Pass together, yes.”

  
Taekwoon became blurry due to the tears welling up in Hongbin’s eyes, his free hand raising to his mouth as he grimaced, dipping his head. Taekwoon squeezed Hongbin’s reassuringly, bringing the man’s hand up to his lips and pressing a kiss against knuckles.

  
“You’ll be able to… properly rest in peace. You’ve secretly been suffering, right?” Hongbin murmured lowly, slumping back in his seat. “Hakyeon… wasn’t wrong.”

  
Taekwoon nodded. Hongbin squeezed his hand.

  
Hongbin closed his eyes, waterlines burning from excessive crying already, taking deep breaths. “Do we have…?”

  
Taekwoon nodded. “I noticed you had a lot of sleeping pills and pain-killers in your medicine cabinet… before we left the laboratory. We’ll have enough.”

  
“I lived on them.” Hongbin murmured, looking down at their hands, clenching his jaw as if to stop him from shaking, from crying, from screaming.

  
“Alcohol, too.”

  
Hongbin just nodded.

  
They entwined fingers, and Hongbin felt suddenly exhausted as they pulled up to the old garage. He barely realised the car had stopped, as the next thing he knew he was being gently coerced out of the car by Taekwoon, their hands never parting.

 

 

  
__♔_ _ __♔_ _   


 

 

  
He felt numb. He was laid across the steel flat panel that he had once performed so many surgeries on Taekwoon previously to bring him to life. It seemed only ironic for Taekwoon to be the one to suggest they pass together. Sluggish, numb, hazy. His head felt like someone had stuffed cotton into it, his eyes threatening to curtain his vision. Was the platform he was laying across humming…? Hongbin didn’t know, but it felt nice. He didn’t hear the machines whirring again, the machines that had been set to a deconstruction mode to properly dismantle Taekwoon so no one could put him back together again.

  
“Taek…”

  
“It’s alright, I’m here.”

  
Ah, warmth. The warmth. The warmth was nice. He felt a shoulder press gently against his face, but he also couldn’t feel it at the same time, he was so numb.

  
“I’m sleepy.”

  
“Yeah.” Taekwoon’s lips pressed against Hongbin’s mouth, his lover’s eyes glazed over, fingers twitching, holding the man who had let him experience life for the second time, one that had been snatched away so unfairly like the first.

  
“I love you,” Hongbin managed to fumble out through lazily lips, and Taekwoon’s face softened, his eyes watering as he pressed foreheads with the man who was being softly coerced, pulled, in what felt like a deep sleep.

  
“I love you too.” Taekwoon whispered, pressing a chaste kiss upon Hongbin’s forehead his head lulled, his eyes closing. The man’s fingers slowly crept to the cords attaching the batteries to his life system. His eyes flickered over to the panel, where the machine’s timer told him less than ten seconds before the deconstruction would begin.

  
“See you soon, my love.” Taekwoon murmured against Hongbin’s lips, only for slender fingers to slip the cords from their connector, and everything faded to black.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions about this fic or other fics, ask [here!](http://ask.fm/xfaunalyn)


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